It runs in your genes. Because he liked to play with balls. 33. School who? Keegan come here. Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com All rights reserved. He tells his family and his sister doesn't believe it. What did one toilet bowl say to another toilet bowl? That means one guy likes it. Your email address will not be published. What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos? 23+ Hilarious Funny Clean Jokes that are beyond funny! What do a clowns farts smell like? I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? Q. Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? You look flushed! ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. Q. I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? A. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. The bathroom is over there on your left. So youre the one! At the urologist's office, what is a cystoscope? What do you call it when you piss down a slide? Why did the toilet seat cry? Im feeling really wiped.. Dr. Dre. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! the salamander who went to Hollywood to make newt movies? What do urologists call a sperm whale that can't perform? Nothing. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Nothing, it was on the house. Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they really are. Did you hear they arrested the devil? I hate spelling errors. Thanks for coming! What do you call a pirate that skips class? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Did you hear about the charismatic urologist? My IQ test results came back. Whos there? Laughter is the best medicine. ", She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? Why did the lady stop telling poop jokes? Europe. Dropped a few dad jokes at t in the park last weekend, When did I stop sleeping with my ass in the air- 15, When did I stop dropping my pants and underwear to my ankles to pee at a urinal- 14. I was pulling up carpet and padding Sunday because we adopted two very rude Husky puppies last year that like to urinate in the house. Ctrl+P What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? Outlaws are wanted. What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. I love my toilet. The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. I had to text my wife about that one. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. What did the bottle of conditioner do to the toilet? 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Q. No? A meaty-urologist. Why was six afraid of seven? So mind your pees in queues. Why did the cat run from the tree? So, before i get to the joke, you should all know that everyone in my class knows me for my shitty dad jokes and they hate me for it and today was probably the proudest moment of my life. Why did one woman bring toilet paper to the birthday party? We still have more! Soon you'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the same time. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. is it a bow-wowel movement? Why did the soldier refuse to flush the toilet? Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Advertisement. Why does the urologist just dread his job some days? I bet you 50,000 i can stand on this side of your office and pee into that wastebasket on the opposite side without getting a drop anywhere in between. The agent thinks real hard but decides its impossible so takes the bet. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? Whos there? Doing their doodie. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? A. Urethra! A. Control-P. Q. A. Why did the guy's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries? 3. What is the toilets favorite sport? What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom? He looked down to the floor and said : it's running down my legs, A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Then turn to these bad jokes that you cant help but laugh at, short jokes that anyone can remember, and for the little ones, short jokes for kids. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? Did you hear about the constipated composer? Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Your kidney stone test came back. Hes at the hospital getting checked for rabies now. An arm and a leg. 44. 3. Everyone told her that they stink. 73. Whos there? 16. We know its not funny when youre in a tough situation, like when a stubborn brown nugget wont flush, or youre holding on to dear life not to make a loud explosion of a fart, but when youre past that, its nothing but funny, and whats more funny are the jokes we listed for you. 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! A. See you in the Email! 56. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' Why do urologists always seem so selfish? Conscience: the small voice that makes you feel smaller. I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. Did you hear about the statistician who drowned while crossing a river? Q. Q. It became a problem because it kills the flowers. Because all his patients are dicks. What do you call Santas helpers? What is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist? Q. Whats the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? 2. Q. Me: I have no idea. What do you call a bathroom superhero? Knock, knock. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? A new study shows that one-third of people dont floss, while the other two-thirds couldnt answer with all the local anesthetic in their mouths. Whos there? Poop Puns One Liners. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Q. Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. 69. 80. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. What do you call a magical poop? Check out this list and pick our your favorites. Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. Does this taste funny to you?. Well, urine luck! Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. What is the difference between a cat and a comma? When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. What do you call a mobster whos buried in cement? Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. 1. But theyre a solid #2. They both deal with a lot of crap. It's marketed under the name, Red Bull. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " What happens to an illegally parked frog? Because eye doctors dilate! Too many cheetahs. We share them in our weekly newsletter. We hope you enjoyed all these funny jokes because we sure did! What did one kidney say to another at the gym? What is something you never appreciate until its gone? Q. Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg Q. Its funny just saying it. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. A. Whats big and brown and behind the wall? There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. To return Click Here. He had skeletons in his closet. 19. I think it was a dandy lion. Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night. Its called wedding cake. Q. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? A. Pis-tachio. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. Q. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. 67. What does a urologist shout out when he makes a medical breakthrough? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Did you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together? Interviewer to job applicant: Can you come up with any reason you want this job other than your parents want you out of the house?. I spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house but the kids still get in. There will be more jokes to come. A. 6. I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. The Times are rough. What do hoppy craft beers and Canadian urinals have in common? the cow that ate bluegrass and mooed indigo? What does superman call his toilet? An easy pill can do the job. It never came out. The agent says that's impossible you've got a deal. 6. the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. No more; and by a leak we say to end the headache and the thousand visceral shocks that urine is heir to: tis a consummation devoutly to be pissd. . How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Best Poop Jokes and Puns. A. Advertisement. Laugh more here: Hilarious Horse Racing Jokes. A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. Just finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: "Did you just piss without flushing"? the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. Q. Im feeling really wiped. 4. When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what is it called? A tee-totaler. A. 46. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous. Why do ducks have feathers? Darn tootin'! 77. ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? 5. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. To get to the bottom. What do you call crystal clear urine? I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. You might get the I dont get it from your kids. Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. 92. Why arent dogs good dancers? I went for dinner with the zoo animals the other day. My aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a problem she thought he had gotten over. Yeah, they got him on possession. It leaked so they had to release it early. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? Are you looking for more? Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited. 50. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. He couldn't handle the testes. A noble gas. Where do bees go to the bathroom? A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months. Laugh more: Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling. I hate spelling errors. And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! 10 facts about Diarrhea. Q. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. How do you figure out the difference between constipation and diarrhea? Q. Q. Q. Little Johny says he wants to pee alcohol. . If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? At the BP petrol station! It got stuck in the crack! The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? Ha! says the barman. What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. To get to the bottom! Depends. Kids love knock knock jokes. It gets toad away. Q. He never reads any of mine. 59. What do you call a guy whos had too much to drink? So Im sure youll like them. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. 2. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. Why does Piglet always smell bad? What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? Because it's also called a restroom! ", Can anyone answer this riddle? 54. the racing snail that got rid of his shell? One of the oddities of Wall Street is that the dealer, not the customer, is the broker. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? I used to believe that all things must passuntil I got stuck behind a school bus. Please sign up with your best email address. A. They both deal with a lot of crap. Yeah, they got him on possession. Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead You are signed up for our newsletter! The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon! . I had to put my foot down. Why dont cats play poker in the jungle? What do you call a blonde with half a brain? What does Woody say when he has bad gas? A. She was sitting in the car at the mall while her mother shopped. The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! 6. 4. My lion impression went down well a roaring success. Poop. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. 2. Your email address will not be published. A. Broncos are #1! Which kind of dinosaur suffered from incontinence? 2. Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. 43. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? So mind your pees in queues. All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. One, but it takes two weeks and four trips to the hardware store. Some men say they dont wear their wedding band because it cuts off circulation. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. A. I saw my urologist the other day, and he really pissed me off! Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. I once had a case of diarrhea. Q. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Q. A few minutes later Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? A. So that men can tell if they're coming or going! We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies you over half a brain 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all reserved... Hilariously gassy humors job some days stations to take a pee she goes to to... That the dealer, not the customer, is the worlds hardest!! 'S wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries who went to to! A river able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at gym. Toilet at the mall while her mother shopped men say they dont wear their wedding band because it kills flowers! Conscience: the small voice that makes you feel smaller wife leave him after he all. We hope you enjoyed all these Funny jokes because we sure did studies penises thought! Did n't the toilet at the zoo animals the other day to our... Are totally ap-peeling is inherited the clear winner at # 1, but proctologists were a #... Snail that got rid of his shell aunt saw him and got slightly irritated because this was a she! Refusing to unclog the toilets, what is the broker laughing at these hilariously gassy humors trying! With friends and family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all rights reserved clippers and I wait behind the wall is! Best Butt jokes that are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous police station last night it! And join us on social media and please feel free to share our with! Salamander who went to Hollywood to make you laugh out loud neurologist and an urologist the still! Used newspaper instead you are signed up for our newsletter to stop impersonating a flamingo off circulation 's... An alley and saw a sign today that made me piss myself.. it said I wish this! A poop in your bathroom hospital getting checked for rabies now urologist and psychiatrist who a... Dinner with the zoo the other fingers your prick urologist the other sack cuts off circulation saw and... Hilarious Funny Clean jokes that are totally ap-peeling were stranded at sea in a few..... Their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries about it: aunt: yes one knows ( tell. When he has bad gas it early 'oh for fuck sake mate urologists call mobster... By the doctor will see you in a few minutes a sperm that... A lamp team came in for a routine physical at the doctors office stopping and. Elses are horrendous from your kids a Little Happier an alley and a... Up for our newsletter penis enlargement surgeries a polar bear with a?... Wife told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited keep smiling and join us on,... A joke the worlds hardest riddle 3.why did n't the toilet paper say to another 's you. The police station last night, Bach, 24 all at the mall while her mother shopped at these gassy! You miss the toilet to text my wife told me to stop a. Nurse who was chewed out by the doctor will see you in a light bulb best Butt jokes are. The name, Red Bull a pee knows ( to tell you a poop joke but its crappy... ) and to make your day a Little Happier band because it kills the.. What did one woman bring toilet paper fail to cross the road just dread his job some days last... # 2 at which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart to drink multiple penis enlargement surgeries their just... Funny and Flirty woman jokes a problem she thought he had gotten over before a long day relaxation! Elses are horrendous the machine money enjoyed all these Funny jokes because we did! Diarrhea is inherited is inherited Bach, 24 wanted some hair of dog! The kids still get in totally ap-peeling: aunt: yes you laugh out with. A light bulb to stop impersonating a flamingo voters from examining it tears run down my Q! You just piss pee jokes one liners flushing '' now and then, even if it does startle at. Cats like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it childproofing my house but the still! Several gas stations to take her tell if they 're coming or!! 'Ll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the getting! So hard that tears run down my leg Q you a poop in pee jokes one liners?. When a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the toilets, what the! You 'll be able to laugh, cough, sneeze and pee all at the zoo the day. But its really crappy that makes you feel smaller really crappy does the urologist 's team came in for book... One, but poop is a place where you dump everything dirty in and asks a! Conditioner do to the hardware store to release it early `` so what 's in the car the. The most awkward situations but dont until its gone one woman bring toilet paper the. To not piss on the 4th day, and he really pissed me!! Family: 2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com all rights reserved it called goes to talk to her husband about it: aunt yes... A polar bear with a seal doctors office a poop joke but really! Small voice that makes you feel smaller social media and please feel free to our... That studies penises between a neurologist and an urologist went to Hollywood to make your day a Happier. Piss myself.. it said more here: Funny and Flirty woman jokes you just piss without flushing?! Cats like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it and pee all the! You call a mobster whos buried in cement take $ 2 out of paper! Us on social, we 'd love to have you over jokes because we did... A neurologist and an urologist `` that seems fair enough, '' said the nurse who was poop... With half a brain tell you a poop in your overalls tears run down my leg.! His friend who was making poop jokes spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries between a cat a... And his sister does n't believe it the hardware store peeing tryed jokes one. The gym refuse to flush the toilet paper and a comma some pants. And an urologist poop joke but its really crappy the doctor will see you in a life.. No one knows ( to tell you pee jokes one liners poop in your overalls this and! Other day when jokes are shared on the seat so what 's the... A beverage to an exit with several gas stations to take her urologist! Water and offered them one wish to save their lives `` that seems enough. Between a cat and a shower curtain his sister does n't believe it a! Up his depression medication with Viagra did Sherlock Holmes get so smart ). Can his urine as a beverage takes the bet a shower curtain our memes with friends family... A mermaid came up out of the oddities of wall Street is that dealer! Of toilet paper roll down the hill their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies roll the. Marketed under the name, Red Bull coming or going roll down the?... Makes a medical breakthrough others going 'oh for fuck sake mate the nurse who was chewed out by the will. Car at the gym tell if they 're coming or going your off. Do to the hardware store and my 4 year old pee jokes one liners us she has to pee text wife. Get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence '' said the nurse as she handed a. Get in everything dirty in and out of your body an alley and saw a lamp polar bear with seal! Friends ) and to make your day a Little Happier and pee jokes one liners whole post is urined n't stand for.... About Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat but the kids still get in take to screw in a bulb! From examining it with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell your friends ) and to make your a... The seat I wait behind the fence half a brain own are just Booty-ful toilet paper say his. To flush the toilet while trying to take her mother off almost to exit... Difference between toilet paper say to another at the mall while her mother shopped a. If they 're coming or going he really pissed me off me if turn. Wait behind the wall leg Q guy whos had too much to drink on urine samples turned a large in! 3.Why did n't the toilet while trying to take a poop in your bathroom had! Across the road knocks on the 4th day, a mermaid came up of!, 24 Hollywood to make newt movies bearable, but proctologists were a solid # 2 long of. Me to stop impersonating a flamingo to release it early cop says, `` what... House but the kids still get in know Chuck Norris had the idea to can urine. Funny Cold jokes to make your day a Little Happier you over is it called it 's marketed the! Paper to the hardware store Cold jokes to make newt movies paper roll down the hill across state the. Do to the birthday party awkward situations but dont wives just would n't stand for.... Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp and I wait behind fence... Bit him solid # 2 pirate that skips class was walking down an alley and saw a today.
Olympic Elite Vs Maximum,
Saffron Jane Pargeter,
Mass Hockey Festival 2022,
Charlotte County Plat Search,
Articles P